“Here’s my diaper. I think I might have pinched one off too soon. [Sniffs diaper] Oh ya, I left a rosebud in there for ya.”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers in Goldmember
“First things first, where’s your shitter? I’ve got a turtle head poking out. I’m not kidding I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Christ I’m getting all emotinoal from it, ya know?”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
“Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you’ve had fat you never go back.”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
“Of course, I’m not happy. Look at me, I’m a big fat slob. I’ve got bigger titties than you. I’ve got more chins than Chinese phone book. I’ve not seen my willy in two years which is long enough to declare I’m legally dead.”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
“Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright? You keep the mojo, you keep the money. And I’ll get your baby [while smacking lips].”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
“Come here I’m going to eat you. I’m bigger than you I’m higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
“Do you find me sexy? Ohhhh, look at my tit-ays.”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers in Goldmember
“Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself?
Fat Bastard: Maybe? It did sound a little wet, didn’t it? Right at the end. Let’s have a smell alright. Ohh wafting, wafting. Ohh everyone likes their own brand, this is magic. Alright analysis… It smells like carrots and throws up. Ohh that could gag a maggot. I smell like hot sick ass in a dead carcass. Ohh even stink would say that stinks. You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell cooking on each floor and you go what are they cooking? That, plus crap.”
— Fat Bastard, Austin Powers in Goldmember